Some GAA quotes to help our learned friends understand our National Games when Sky Sports begins its' coverage this weekend.


1. "I love Cork so much that if I caught one of their hurlers in bed with my missus, I'd tiptoe downstairs and make him a cup of tea" - Joe Lynch, actor.

2. "We've won one All-Ireland in a row." - Wexford Fan in 1996.

3. "The toughest match I ever heard off was the 1935 All-Ireland Semi-Final. After 6 minutes, the ball ricocheted off a post and went into the stand. The pulling continued relentlessly and it was 22 minutes before any of the players noticed the ball was missing." - Michael Smith.

4. "Sylvie Linnane would start a riot in a graveyard." - Tipp fan

5. "I'm not giving away any secrets like that to Tipperary. If I had my way, I wouldn't even tell them the time of the throw-in" - Ger Loughnane.

6. "He's like Lazarus; but Lazarus didn't have such a sweet right boot" - The Legend that is Micheal O' Muircheartaigh on Colin Corkery.

7. "Whenever a team loses, there's always a row at half time but when they win, it's an inspirational speech" - John O' Mahony.

8. "There are 2 things in Ireland that would drive you to drink. GAA referees would drive you to drink, and the price of drink would drive you to drink" - Sligo Fan after 2002 Connacht final.

9. "The wheel fell off my mobile home" - Offaly's Eugene McGee explains why he was late for training.

10. "When my friends were besotted with Jason Donovan, my heroes were Colm O'Rourke and Barney Rock" - Sue  Ramsbottom (Laois Ladies Captain).

11. "We're taking this match awful seriously. We're training three times a week now, and some of the boys are off the beer since Tuesday" - Offaly hurler quote in the week before a Leinster hurling final vs. Kilkenny

12. "Ger Loughnane was fair, he treated us all the same during training - like dogs" - anonymous Clare hurler.

13. "Any chance of an autograph? It's for the wife....she really hates you" - Tipp fan to Ger Loughnane.

14. "You can't win derbies with donkeys" - Babs Keating before Tipp played Cork in 1990.

15. "He's good alright, but you should have seen his brother. He'd have played for the county except for the drink/women/fitness (insert the applicable)" - Heard in every parish in Ireland every year!

16. "Sheep in a heap" - Babs Keating description of Offaly in 1998.

17. "Babs Keating 'resigned' as coach because of illness and fatigue. The players were sick and tired of him" - Offaly fan in 1998.

18. "And as for you. You're not even good  enough to play for this shower of useless no-hopers" - Former Clare mentor to one of his  subs after a heavy defeat.

19. "Babs Keating was arrested in Nenagh for shaking a cigarette machine, but the gardai let him off when he said he only wanted to borrow twenty players" - Waterford fan after 2002 Munster final.

20. "They have a forward line that couldn't punch holes in a paper bag" - Pat Spillane on the Cavan football team.

21. "Meath players like to get their retaliation in first" - Cork fan1988.

22. "Meath make football a colourful game-you get all black and blue" - another Cork fan 1988.

23. "Colin Corkery is deceptive. He is slower than he looks" - Kerry fan.

24. "Life isn't all beer and football...some of us haven't touched a football in months" - Kerry player during league campaign 1980s.

25. "I could never figure out how he knew it was for me" - Pat Spillane after the postman handed a letter addressed 'Pat the Bollix, Co. Kerry'.

Latest Articles

A view of life in aphorisms.
A view of life gleamed in aphorisms.
Read Full Story
Rate the Writer
The Premiership prediction game! Week 31.
It's the ultimate football knowledge test, as The Punters Page continues to lead.
Read Full Story
Rate the Writer
Premiership Prediction Competition - Week 21!
The Punters Page continue to impress while the fan remains well behind!!
Read Full Story
Rate the Writer

Wall of Fame

James Geary
Any day you die is not a good day.
SANDRA L ADCOCK
Transition - Parents Can Make It Happen
Name Withheld.
The sentence must be fair to the victim, not just the accused.
Name Withheld.
Where will I sit?
The Sports Guy.
GAA Fans telling it like it is.