Some GAA quotes to help our learned friends understand our National Games when Sky Sports begins its' coverage this weekend.

1. "I love Cork so much that if I caught one of their hurlers in bed with my missus, I'd tiptoe downstairs and make him a cup of tea" - Joe Lynch, actor.

2. "We've won one All-Ireland in a row." - Wexford Fan in 1996.

3. "The toughest match I ever heard off was the 1935 All-Ireland Semi-Final. After 6 minutes, the ball ricocheted off a post and went into the stand. The pulling continued relentlessly and it was 22 minutes before any of the players noticed the ball was missing." - Michael Smith.

4. "Sylvie Linnane would start a riot in a graveyard." - Tipp fan

5. "I'm not giving away any secrets like that to Tipperary. If I had my way, I wouldn't even tell them the time of the throw-in" - Ger Loughnane.

6. "He's like Lazarus; but Lazarus didn't have such a sweet right boot" - The Legend that is Micheal O' Muircheartaigh on Colin Corkery.

7. "Whenever a team loses, there's always a row at half time but when they win, it's an inspirational speech" - John O' Mahony.

8. "There are 2 things in Ireland that would drive you to drink. GAA referees would drive you to drink, and the price of drink would drive you to drink" - Sligo Fan after 2002 Connacht final.

9. "The wheel fell off my mobile home" - Offaly's Eugene McGee explains why he was late for training.

10. "When my friends were besotted with Jason Donovan, my heroes were Colm O'Rourke and Barney Rock" - Sue  Ramsbottom (Laois Ladies Captain).

11. "We're taking this match awful seriously. We're training three times a week now, and some of the boys are off the beer since Tuesday" - Offaly hurler quote in the week before a Leinster hurling final vs. Kilkenny

12. "Ger Loughnane was fair, he treated us all the same during training - like dogs" - anonymous Clare hurler.

13. "Any chance of an autograph? It's for the wife....she really hates you" - Tipp fan to Ger Loughnane.

14. "You can't win derbies with donkeys" - Babs Keating before Tipp played Cork in 1990.

15. "He's good alright, but you should have seen his brother. He'd have played for the county except for the drink/women/fitness (insert the applicable)" - Heard in every parish in Ireland every year!

16. "Sheep in a heap" - Babs Keating description of Offaly in 1998.

17. "Babs Keating 'resigned' as coach because of illness and fatigue. The players were sick and tired of him" - Offaly fan in 1998.

18. "And as for you. You're not even good  enough to play for this shower of useless no-hopers" - Former Clare mentor to one of his  subs after a heavy defeat.

19. "Babs Keating was arrested in Nenagh for shaking a cigarette machine, but the gardai let him off when he said he only wanted to borrow twenty players" - Waterford fan after 2002 Munster final.

20. "They have a forward line that couldn't punch holes in a paper bag" - Pat Spillane on the Cavan football team.

21. "Meath players like to get their retaliation in first" - Cork fan1988.

22. "Meath make football a colourful game-you get all black and blue" - another Cork fan 1988.

23. "Colin Corkery is deceptive. He is slower than he looks" - Kerry fan.

24. "Life isn't all beer and football...some of us haven't touched a football in months" - Kerry player during league campaign 1980s.

25. "I could never figure out how he knew it was for me" - Pat Spillane after the postman handed a letter addressed 'Pat the Bollix, Co. Kerry'.

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